Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Ruby Red Headed Warbler



Now boys and girls, brush your teeth, pull up a chair and listen up. Mama's got something to say on a subject very near and dear to her.

I'm talking about voice.

No, not the way I sound on the phone, which is Starbucks on crack.

I'm referring to the writing voice. The voice that makes you unique. The voice that separates Stephen King from, let's say, a Stephenie Meyer.

Here's an observation that may shock some people: writing is easy. Yes, it is. Any chimp worth his banana can sit down at a computer and type. And with the proliferation of screenwriting software, it's really just a question of filling in the blanks.

Except for one thing: you can string the words together, but it's the way you put them together that adds up to your voice.

Whiny.

Strong.

Sarcastic.

Wimpy.

Troubled

Dramatic.

Lean.

Mean.

Horrible.

Thrilling.

I've read scripts, many scripts, too many to scripts to count, scripts that sold for big moolah, that were perfectly formatted, grammatically correct, hit all the beats according to Blake Snyder, yet were duller than baby food.

A script doesn't have to be perfect to sell. It doesn't have to be perfectly structured. A script can have a plethora of flaws and foibles and still get produced.

But even for all the flaws, a script has to that intangible something that sets it apart from the pack.

Voice.

If your script has a voice, it can hide a multitude of sins.

If your script doesn't have it, it's like the Emperor With No Clothes.

I'd rather have a script that says something (yet have problems), than a "perfectly formatted" script with all the life of a corpse.

And that's what Mama says.

Friday, February 27, 2009

So, What's The Story?



SO, WHAT'S THE STORY?
By Michele Wallerstein
Screenplay, Novel & Career Consultant

Every agent is waiting for you to bring them the next big saleable screenplay that will knock the business off its axis. They want you to show them that piece that will have producers and studios panting at their doors with huge offers of money and multiple deals of future movies. Agents want the best for you, because it means the best for them. I happen to believe that this relationship is a great one. It is an honest quid pro quo - if you are successful…I am successful. How bad is that?

OK, so how do you make that happen? How do you deliver the perfectly written project that will make the town sit up and take notice? It’s not as difficult as it sounds. The first thing you have to do is STOP thinking that you have to write the most unusual script of all time. This kind of thinking will destroy your chances of not only selling the script, but of keeping your agent. I’ve found that new writers often have the tendency to try to impress people by “thinking outside the box”. Well folks, the “box” is there for a reason, it works. Throughout movie history, audiences have loved certain types of films. They go to see them over and over again. When you are working to get in to the business, go with the flow. Perhaps, after you’ve established yourself as a player, you might be able to expand your horizons, but it’s not the way to get into your chosen field.

Insofar as your early spec scripts are concerned, here are some rules to live by:

No Togas. By this I mean to say period pieces. Keep your early scripts contemporary. Period pieces are extremely difficult to sell. They go in and out of favor with the studios by the minute. You never know whether you are too early or too late with your piece. They are not good as writing samples since they are too specifically time/era dependent. This means manners, customs, morals, societal relationships, styles of speech, etc… . Oh, and by the way, try to stay on this planet.


Keep it simple. Stay away from twins. Don’t make a script too complicated to produce. As soon as a development executive or producer sees this they will toss it into the “circular file”. It is too much of a pain in the neck. Try not to write a script that is so complicated that it would make the casting a horror. Another example, besides twins, is a multi-generational story of the entire cast. This means a nightmare of casting as well as costume and set changes that are a financial pain. Don’t go there. Besides, no one really wants to watch Brad Pitt or Ashton Kutcher age before their eyes.


Keep ‘em young. If you really want to kick start your writing career, try to have your early scripts feature a fairly young cast. In my mind the term “young” means any age up to 29 years old. Not one minute older. The youth market is what is the most viable today. Actually if you can write a script for 9 year old boys, you are really in good shape. The research shows that those boys will return to see the same film over and over again with different friends and family members. Recidivism is the word. Let’s not forget our little friend, Harry Potter.


Location, location, location. This is not simply a rule in real estate. This is a real consideration in movie making. A studio never has a problem putting their money in a viable movie star who can “open” a movie. That means that any movie starring a particularly huge actor is guaranteed a certain bottom line of huge dollars at the box office in its opening weekend. Foreign or multiple locations do not promise this type of money for the film and they are very expensive. It is not a hard and fast rule to keep everything set in one location but simply something to keep in mind. You always want to be realistic in your writing. Think bottom line.


The Star. Here are the rules for your main character and they are hard and fast. These points apply to all genres. Do not try to change them for any reason.

a. The Star’s character is on every page.

b. The Star’s character resolves the problem

c. The Star’s character has the most lines

d. The Star’s character gets the girl (or the guy)

e. The Star’s character is the smartest person in the cast

f. The Star’s character has the last word in the film

g. The Star’s character must grow as a person

h. The Star’s character must learn something about him/herself

Coincidences. They only complicate the plot. Coincidences never, ever resolve the problems. When you have a coincidence resolve a plot point the audience feels cheated.


Depressing/Dramas? There is a fine line between being depressing and being dramatic. You need to understand the difference in your early writing career of dramatic film writing. I love a good dramatic relationship film. I hate depressing movies that have no other saving grace but to be sad. “HUD” was a great drama starring the late Paul Newman, another great drama was the 1957 film titled “A FACE IN THE CROWD” starring Patricia Neal and Andy Griffith. These are films that must be seen by serious film writers. As an agent, some years ago a client brought in a brand new script that he had never discussed with me. He proudly handed over a large box of them, with leatherette covers with gold embossed titles. This sent a clear message that I was not to give him any notes and that he wanted them to be sent out just the way they were. The story in those scripts was about the murders of elderly, helpless people in an old age home. It was so depressing that I could barely read it. Not only couldn’t I submit this well-written script, but I had to let the client go.


Choices. Write a contemporary drama, comedy, suspense, thriller, murder/mystery, teen-comedy, romance, etc… . Keep your characters interesting and believable- make us care what happens to them. Try to write “up” to the audiences’ intellect and emotions. We want to leave the movie theater feeling like we were entertained and that we learned just a little bit about the human condition. The movie studios like this too.

Michele Wallerstein is a former Literary Agent who now works as a Screenplay and Novel Consultant. She can be reached at:

Email: novelconsult@sbcglobal.net

Website: www.Novelconsultant.com

Reposted with permission by the author, this article first appeared in the Great American Pitchfest Feb Newsletter (www.pitchfest.com)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Putting on the Blitz



I'm here, I'm alive...barely.

Since my last post, I've started at least three new scripts (and percolating dozens more, okay, maybe not dozens, but a lot), did a temp job which nearly killed me (no joke, you work 11 1/2 hour days and see how you hold up), compiling a list of e-mail addys (nope, can't tell you why, otherwise I'd have to kill you), wrote my monthly column, did script coverages, two interviews for the Great American Pitchfest newsletter...and all the other sundry things like laundry, baking (Mom can't live without a cake in the house).

Watched the Oscars, really wanted Mickey to win, if only to hear him say fuck on national tee vee.

Natalie Portman was adorable.

Didn't much care for the outfit that Beyonce wore. Looked like curtains you'd find in an 1860's bordello.

Jessica Biehl, hello, I've seen napkins folded better at my local pizzeria.

Loved Angelina and Brad.

Whoopi, that dress was a whoops.

Could somebody put a muzzle on Ryan Seacrest? The man is insipid.

Women with red hair should not wear red.

Tina Fey and Steve Martin should do a movie together.

Did anyone in the western world really think that SLUMDOG wouldn't win Best Picture?

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Pixie Dust



Isn't that a great picture? It's of my oldest daughter, Adrienne. She looks carefree, happy, enthusiastic, excited, innocent, unafraid.

It's the way I want to feel when I'm writing. Curious about that locked door. Anxious to go down the unbeaten path. Willing to fail. Willing to try. Taking changes, even if I fall flat on my face.

That's the way I was when I first started screenwriting. I had no idea of what I was doing, so I had no expectations. It was fun, it was exhilirating. I wasn't supposed to succeed, so anything I did, well, it was for my own pure pleasure. When I sold my first script (and actually had it made), you could have knocked me over with a piledriver.

And then, you know....the bar was set. I had something to prove. I had to prove that I wasn't a "one hit wonder". And sometimes, I slogged through the writing just to plow through it, instead of for the joy, the pleasure, the love it brought me. Because I do love writing with all my heart and soul. Screenwriting, articles, blogs, grocery lists...

Last year I spent (for me) a lot of time and energy on a project that I really didn't care for. I was trying so hard to mold this idea to fit someone's box, a square peg into a round hole, if you will. And I was miserable, and I made myself even more miserable, because I didn't want to admit that I couldn't do it.

I'm now working on a project that is as uncommercial as they come. Decidedly out of the ballpark. And I don't care because I feel good about it. I want to see how far I can go with it. How far it will take me...even if I'm the only one who ever reads it. And it's okay. Yeah, it might end up being a waste of time. But so what?

Sunday, January 18, 2009

That Time Again



Must stop...looking at...Ted Levine. Must...stop...

Because I have started a new script. In fact, two. But if I stop to stare into those dreamy blue eyes, I'm lost...and if I'd rather dream about my Teddy Bear, it means I'm losing steam on the scripts.

Let's face it, writing a script takes work. Lots of it, along with discipline and passion and enthusiasm. Every time I write FADE IN, I worry. Will this premise carry me to 110 pages and beyond, numerous rewrites, including championing my vision through the long night of the Valley of No?

I'm always afraid. Afraid I won't be able to finish. Fearful that what I'm writing is crap. Scared that it's a lost cause. It's like going to a well, and each time you draw some water, you're scared shitless that one day, the well will run dry. And when that happens, what next?

My hard drive is littered with the carcasses of half-completed scripts. It's not that I don't mean not to finish them. I always start out with the best of intentions. Usually something else takes over (usually another script idea). I tell myself that I'll return to those scripts one day...and hopefully I will.

That's my problem (if you can call it that) in a nutshell. I'm always coming up new ideas. I tell ya, it's a blessing and a curse.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Tips for a Better Life




1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did the previous year.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.


Thank you Facebook!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Things I Learned From Harold and Maude (Thanks IMDB)


1. Get Together Regardless of Your Age, Race, Religion, Creed or National Origin.

2. The world's sorrow comes from people who are individualistic but allow themselves to be treated as a clone.

3. Age isn't a boundary for love.

4. "Here today, gone tomorrow, so don't get attached to things!"

5. Try something new everyday.

6. "Consistency is not a human trait."

7. "A lot of people enjoy being dead."

8. Never give up your sense of curiosity.

9. Some people will surprise you.

10. Enjoy simple things.

11. Computer dates will always attract weird people.

12. Never let your mother try to hook you up.

13. Don't Be Shy

14. If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out

15. "It's best not to be too moral."

16. "Everyone has the right to make an ass out of themselves."

17. "The world still dearly loves a cage."

18. Always look for the new experience.

19. The curse of a government job is to be officious.

20. Don't be bothered with the mores or folkways of society.

21. Cat Stevens songs

22. Revolt every day.

23. Use creativity to get out of sticky situations.

24. If your mother is too busy being a societal women, she will ignore your pleas for attention.

25. Birth and death are all part of the life cycle.

26. Photographs will always stay young and bright, though you will age. (book)

27. Create things.

28. "It's okay, it's organic!"

29. A different definition of "public property."

30. "Go out and love some more."

31. "Everyone should be able to make some music."

32. If you want to be free, be free.

33. Don't worry, be happy.

34. You can do it better in a hearse.

35. Old people have sex. And enjoy it!

36. Live before you die.

37. It's just as easy to be happy as it is to be sad.

38. Banjo players are picky.

39. Live for today not in the past.

40. It's cool to be different.

41. Money can't buy you happiness.

42. Don't let other people rule your life.

43. You don't need a license to drive.

44. Everyone has the right to make an ass out of themselves.

45. If you throw something you love into the sea, you'll always know where it is.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

And Now For Something Completely Different



I am very happy to get feedback and comments on my blog, but I must admit, I was taken a bit aback to receive a note from "Anonymous" that "for a writer, I didn't write that much" on my blog. Too many You Tube videos.

When I told this to my hubby, he laughed and opined that whoever said this didn't know me very well.

I am always writing. Even when I'm not at my computer, I'm writing.

I've always thought of my blog as my scratch pad, where I can write and share what moves me. Artists like Natalie MacMaster and Fleetwood Mac. I don't post these videos to fill up band with. This is the stuff that flows through my veins, fuels my creativity.

On this blog, I've written about my highs and lows, the disappointments. True, there's a lot of personal crap I haven't written about, mainly because I believe that there are some subjects that should remain private. There are some days I wonder why I even get up to take a shower; other days, I can't wait to jump in the shower.

I've written on lots of other subjects too, like politics, fame, fortune, gossip, movies, TV, my obsession with Ted Levine. But I can understand why some people want a blog to be, you know...a blog.

So how about this for a 2008 resolution: more writing, as if I'm not writing enough. More essays on movies. And more of myself, even when it hurts.

Cos after all, in addition to everything else, I'm a writer, right?

Saturday, January 03, 2009

New Year New Hopes



A new year, new beginnings, new goals.

It's the same thing every January. We start off the new year with such lofty
aspirations. This is going to be the year I lose weight. The year I make that big breakthrough. The year I hit the lottery. The year I realize all those unfulfilled dreams. And you hit the ground running like Danica Patrick, full throttle.

But you can't keep that kind of velocity and adrenaline going forever---no one can, without the use of drugs---and slowly, when things don't quite work out the way you'd initially hoped, you begin to run out of gas.

And the whole cycle begins anew each January 1st.

I want this year, 2009, to be different. I really do. Change we can believe in, yes we can, and all that jazz. 2008 was so bad that in comparison, 2009 can only be better.

That's the great thing about turning a new leaf (or year). We can wipe the slate clean, start fresh, regain optimism, recharge our batteries. There's nothing to hold us back except our fears.

And if we falter or fail or take a giant step backwards...there's always next year.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Dec Blues



Yes, I'm still here, still plugging away.

The reviews for THE TOWN THAT BANNED CHRISTMAS (available on Amazon) are in, and boy are they mixed. Some people say it's charming, others say it's the worst Christmas film they've ever seen. Well, at least people have an opinion about it. As the saying goes, any kind of publcity is better than none at all.

Betwixt and between projects, holiday baking, life, the usual suspects. And waiting. Always waiting, which seems to be a writer's lot.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Monk's Final Season




Yes, it's true. By "mutual termination", MONK is going the way of the dodo next year, for a final 8th season. Yes, it will live on in syndication, but no more original episodes.

Honestly, I can't say that I'm heartbroken. The first half of MONK's seventh season has been uneven, to say the least. I'd prefer that MONK go out in a blaze of glory rather than just wither on the vine.

And now, having seen my beloved Teddy in WONDERLAND (the TV show), I realize just how under utilized he is in MONK. "Dr. Robert Banger" was a great role for him, he really sunk his acting chops into that.

Eight seasons is a long time in TV land, a long time for the writers to keep their batteries charged, and for the actors, it's a challenge to keep it fresh.

So while I will miss MONK...I'll always have TL.

KTUU 2008 Sarah Palin turkey interview

The unedited version (I can't watch, it turns my tummy).

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

A New Era





Bleary eyed, still reeling from yesterday, the enormity of it all has yet to hit me. Our long national nightmare is finally over. Not just for me personally, but for our country.

Without going into too much elaboration, the Bush years were not kind to me. The election of 2000 marked the beginning of a long, hard road. I had hope in 2004, but sadly, it was stillborn. This year I had almost given up, tired of the petty, shrill rhetoric. I even wasn't going to vote!

It took me awhile to get on the Obama train, but when I did, we all jumped on board with a vengeance. As the world watched and waited, I feel that as a nation, we all held hands, held our breath, and took a giant leap of faith---the kind of faith and hope that those of lesser minds, hearts and spirits have pretty much given up on. And we were rewarded. This election wasn't stolen from us. This was a generational moment that we will remember the rest of our lives, like so many other national moments.

It's a new day, and while it's true that the problems I had yesterday haven't gone away, and the problems we face as a country, they're still here too. But the national mood has changed. As a nation, we look to the future with new hope.

Yes, we can. I get it now. And the people I love who are with me deep in my soul and in my memories, it gives me great comfort to think they would've gotten it too.

Oh yes, we certainly can.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Celtic Woman - A New Journey - Spanish Lady

Celtic Woman - A New Journey - Reels

Natalie MacMaster and Bela Fleck clip #1

Natalie MacMaster - Blue Bonnets over the Border

The Drunken Piper

Celtic electric - Natalie Macmaster

Natalie MacMaster - Volcanic Jig

Natalie MacMaster - Step Dance Extravaganza

Natalie MacMaster - Drum Dance

Natalie MacMaster/Leahy - Natalie's Medley

Natalie MacMaster - The Silver Spear

Natalie MacMaster - Pretty Mary Medley

Natalie MacMaster - Traditional Medley

Natalie MacMaster - G Medley

Natalie MacMaster - King George Medley

Natalie MacMaster - Tullochgorum

The Vet Who Did Not Vet

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Monday, October 13, 2008

Political Movies



In keeping with the election season, I got to thinking of my favorite political themed movies. There are many that I like: SEVEN DAYS IN MAY, BEST MAN, FAIL SAFE, DR. STRANGELOVE: OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB, THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (the original). But the one that resonates the most with me, the one that I lived through, is the classic ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN.

I fully remember the Watergate saga. We were living in New Hampshire at the time, and I vividly remember watching the hearings. It was better than a soap opera, except that this was real. If you think about it, the hearings were the first live reality show.

Watergate spawned so many great characters (and dare I say, eve heroes): Martha Mitchell, Sam Ervin, Elliott Richardson, Judge Sirica, John Dean. It also launched the careers of Woodward and Bernstein, who grabbed the tiger by the tail and didn't let go. And the movie perfectly captured the time, the culture, and the fear. Yes, fear in Richard Nixon's Washington.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

McCain's YouTube Problem Just Became a Nightmare

John McCain vs. John McCain

Will the real one stand up?

Redneck Girls Forever

No comment needed.

Patriotic drunk rednecks

I think that's a dog on the bike too.

Mccain Losing it -

Yes, we're prisoners, but liberation is coming!!

Still Breathing



Yep, I'm still here, still writing, still reading a pile of scripts for that contest (oh, what lovely blogs I'll have about that experience) and otherwise trying to keep warm during an unexpected cold snap and maintain my sanity in this overheated political season.

My kids are very excited about the upcoming Presidential election. My oldest called today and for over an hour we jabbered about it. Which reminds me, if you haven't yet registered to vote...DO SO!!! NOW!!! You can even register on-line.

http://www.beavoter.org/congressorg/election/register_vote/

Not sure if you're registered?

https://www.votepoke.org/index.html

They'll help you to register too.

Hey, if you're don't vote, I say you lose the right to bitch and moan about the way things are going if you don't like it.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Friday, September 26, 2008

Patriotic drunk rednecks

Bret in

My Horrible Year with Caterina Scorsone and Allison Mack

My Movie!

Salin Palin Swimsuit

Sarah Silverman and The Great Schlep

Jack Cafferty Tells Us How He Really Feels About Sarah Palin

Don't hold back, Jack!

Sarah Palin - The Alaska Pageant - Intro

Sarah Palin Song! (I Picked a Girl!) BBK#3

I Picked a Girl featuring John McCain and Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin Miss Teen Mashup - John McCain's VP Pick

Sarah 'Miss Teen USA' Palin