My fucking God.
Can somebody please tell me what happned to Lindsay Lohan? I just saw a recent photo of her, and she's unrecognizable from the cute, fresh faced kid she was in THE PARENT TRAP. She looks like a cross of Tara Reid and Paris Hilton, and that's no compliment. Next to Lindsay, Mary Kate has more meat on her bones.
Lindsay is a hometown Long Island girl, so I know all about her family travails, thanks to Newsday (otherswise known in my house as Loseday). And I've heard about Lindsay's antics on and off the set from Defamer and other sites.
I've no doubt that Lindsay, being the sole breadwinner of her family, must be under tremendous pressure. But is anyone in control or even trying to put the brakes on? Let's face it, she hasn't been getting the best career advice. The HERBIE remake didn't do all that well, and her records aren't flying out of the stores either.
Chill out, Lindsay. Splurge on a banana split or two. Take six months off, stay away from the high life, and just be a teenager again.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
It's Been A Good Week
Don't you know? I'm in an incredible period of good luck according to my psychic pal Jean (I'm such a good pal she doesn't even know my first name). Yet she informs me that I have 165 days to capitalize on this window of opportunity and that we must join forces to thwart "negative waves". However, to do this, I must buy her book for $9.95....
INTO THE AMAZON is at Kopelson and New Line.
Another producer has strong interest in my horror comedy THE AMULET.
My agent wants to slip RANDOM ACTS to a friend he has at Charlize's prodco. He loved the script, called it a throwback to "Howard Hawks and Frank Capra" (he meant that in a good way).
The director on CHRISTMAS sent me a whiny e-mail today suggesting that we need to make "changes" based on the "popular vote", apparently he's shown the script to some who love it as is, others who want to make it darker, and still others who want to tack on a "fairy tale ending."
I put the kibosh on that nonsense straight away, reminding him that the only reason I gave him the option was because he insisted he loved it just the way it was. I told him I had no problem making minor changes to tighten the story or enhancing it (and had already done so at his suggestion), but that I was done. Finito. Hasta la vista, baybee.
You know what he did?
He thanked me for putting the brakes on. He said he was a people pleaser, and in trying to please all these people, he had forgotten what drew him to my script in the first place.
Maybe we should all say NO more often.
INTO THE AMAZON is at Kopelson and New Line.
Another producer has strong interest in my horror comedy THE AMULET.
My agent wants to slip RANDOM ACTS to a friend he has at Charlize's prodco. He loved the script, called it a throwback to "Howard Hawks and Frank Capra" (he meant that in a good way).
The director on CHRISTMAS sent me a whiny e-mail today suggesting that we need to make "changes" based on the "popular vote", apparently he's shown the script to some who love it as is, others who want to make it darker, and still others who want to tack on a "fairy tale ending."
I put the kibosh on that nonsense straight away, reminding him that the only reason I gave him the option was because he insisted he loved it just the way it was. I told him I had no problem making minor changes to tighten the story or enhancing it (and had already done so at his suggestion), but that I was done. Finito. Hasta la vista, baybee.
You know what he did?
He thanked me for putting the brakes on. He said he was a people pleaser, and in trying to please all these people, he had forgotten what drew him to my script in the first place.
Maybe we should all say NO more often.
Monday, September 26, 2005
What Does Your Father Do?
Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up--fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.
David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and have sex with him for money, " David replied with a straight face.
The teacher, shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work in their workbooks, and took Little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said David, "he works for the Bush administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and have sex with him for money, " David replied with a straight face.
The teacher, shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work in their workbooks, and took Little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said David, "he works for the Bush administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
Thursday, September 22, 2005
New News
The producer/director of the Christmas movie called me all excited today. It seems that the prodco he's going to pony up with for it has a contact with Chevy Chase and is going to get the script to him. Chevy would make a great Norbert!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Late Nate
I''m barely functioning this morning. I was up until 5AM this morning, a new idea roiling in my head. Can't speak of it yet...it's just too new, I guess. And untried.
INTO THE AMAZON is at Kopelson Entertainment. Still no word from our Canadian agent on his submit. Damn. Hurricane Rita is getting more action then me. No further updates from the CHRISTMAS producer either.
INTO THE AMAZON is at Kopelson Entertainment. Still no word from our Canadian agent on his submit. Damn. Hurricane Rita is getting more action then me. No further updates from the CHRISTMAS producer either.
Friday, September 16, 2005
The Ghost and the Darkness
I'm on a reading binge (which is better than a Cookies n' Cream ice cream binge. Edy's Grand Churned Light. Heaven on Earth).
I just finished reading the softcover copy of Goldman's script.
I'm amazed. Goldman throws all them dern rules under the bus.
There's not one INT. or EXT. in the script.
He uses parantheticals like Twinkerbell sprinkles fairy dust.
There are pages of action with no dialogue.
There are pages of CUT TO's.
There are lines that are totally unfilmmable. "These three will be friends forever."
He bolds. Italicizes. Underlines (don't know how to do that here). CAPITALIZES.
Shit.
It's magnificent.
And it took Goldman more than a dozen years and twists of fate and reversals of fortune and just being in the right place at the right time to get this to the screen. Even if it hadn't been a true story, Goldman makes me believe.
To think, it coulda been Kevin Costner and not Val Kilmer.
I just finished reading the softcover copy of Goldman's script.
I'm amazed. Goldman throws all them dern rules under the bus.
There's not one INT. or EXT. in the script.
He uses parantheticals like Twinkerbell sprinkles fairy dust.
There are pages of action with no dialogue.
There are pages of CUT TO's.
There are lines that are totally unfilmmable. "These three will be friends forever."
He bolds. Italicizes. Underlines (don't know how to do that here). CAPITALIZES.
Shit.
It's magnificent.
And it took Goldman more than a dozen years and twists of fate and reversals of fortune and just being in the right place at the right time to get this to the screen. Even if it hadn't been a true story, Goldman makes me believe.
To think, it coulda been Kevin Costner and not Val Kilmer.
Rebuilding Bush's Image
Make no mistake.
Bush's speech of last night was not about repairing New Orleans. It's all about repairing Bush's image/legacy.
Why else to explain the appointment of Bush's Brain, Karl Rove, to head the rebuilding in New Orleans.
Rove is a political operative. He knows about as much as rebuilding a city as Bush does. Which is nothing.
Will the MSM point this out? Is there a Republican in the house who dares challenge the Emperor With No Clothes? Is the public going to fall for Bush's "Shell Game" one again?
Change New Orleans for Iraq and it's the same old game all over again.
Bush's speech of last night was not about repairing New Orleans. It's all about repairing Bush's image/legacy.
Why else to explain the appointment of Bush's Brain, Karl Rove, to head the rebuilding in New Orleans.
Rove is a political operative. He knows about as much as rebuilding a city as Bush does. Which is nothing.
Will the MSM point this out? Is there a Republican in the house who dares challenge the Emperor With No Clothes? Is the public going to fall for Bush's "Shell Game" one again?
Change New Orleans for Iraq and it's the same old game all over again.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
"A Depth Charged Week"
Well, depending on which horrorscope I read, I'm going to have a great week career wise or I'm going to break the past, or I still have some heavy waters to wade through. A burden will be lifted. I will have a great responsibility. The Universe is ready to intercede on my behalf. My friends are about to desert me. The planets are aligning in my favor. I shouldn't do anything until the Mercury Retrograde, or is that I should do everything under the Mercury Retrograde.
What's a poor Capricorn supposed to do?
What's a poor Capricorn supposed to do?
Bushland
This land is Bushland
This land is Bushland
From Texas highways
To New Orleans swampland
This land is Bushland
This land is Bushland
And it wasn't made for you and me
This land is Bushland
From Texas highways
To New Orleans swampland
This land is Bushland
This land is Bushland
And it wasn't made for you and me
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Much Ado
I posted the comments made by former First Lady Barbara Bush at a screenwriting site I belong to (The Writer's Building) and was shocked and dismayed at the reaction it received. Apparently some members complained to the webmaster that it was a political attack meant to create chaos and controversy, rather than mature, reasoned discussion.
So it was summarily removed without any input from me.
Which infuriated me, as the reason initially given for removing the post was because it wasn't "screenwriting related."
When I pointed out that the site contained other posts which were not screenwriting related per se, I was flatly told that it was the webmaster's discretion to remove what he considered to be "inflammatory" posts.
Naturally, this smacked to me of censorship. And I said so. Of course, the point I wanted to make about Barbara Bush and the country club mind set that is running our country got lost in the turbo charged rhetoric.
We impeached a President for getting a blow job from an intern and the right wing masturbated over that for months on end.
Now we have a catastrophe of historical proportions, the President was asleep at the wheel, Cheney was off closing on a two million dollar house, while Condi was buying expensive shoes in NYC when not attending Broadway musicals and watching the US Open from a front row seat.
Where are our priorities, folks? Not to mention our leaders? Half the country voted for Bush because he promised to keep us safe, unlike the other guy.
Four years and hundreds of billions of dollars spent on homeland security, and this is what we have to show for it: a toxic stew and hundreds of dead bodies floating.
Our President was too busy strumming a guitar.
That, and the disaster in Iraq, is Bush's legacy.
Mission accomplished, all right.
On a happier note, I have a new column up at Done Deal, and I started yet another script, SNOWBLIND, a thriller.
So it was summarily removed without any input from me.
Which infuriated me, as the reason initially given for removing the post was because it wasn't "screenwriting related."
When I pointed out that the site contained other posts which were not screenwriting related per se, I was flatly told that it was the webmaster's discretion to remove what he considered to be "inflammatory" posts.
Naturally, this smacked to me of censorship. And I said so. Of course, the point I wanted to make about Barbara Bush and the country club mind set that is running our country got lost in the turbo charged rhetoric.
We impeached a President for getting a blow job from an intern and the right wing masturbated over that for months on end.
Now we have a catastrophe of historical proportions, the President was asleep at the wheel, Cheney was off closing on a two million dollar house, while Condi was buying expensive shoes in NYC when not attending Broadway musicals and watching the US Open from a front row seat.
Where are our priorities, folks? Not to mention our leaders? Half the country voted for Bush because he promised to keep us safe, unlike the other guy.
Four years and hundreds of billions of dollars spent on homeland security, and this is what we have to show for it: a toxic stew and hundreds of dead bodies floating.
Our President was too busy strumming a guitar.
That, and the disaster in Iraq, is Bush's legacy.
Mission accomplished, all right.
On a happier note, I have a new column up at Done Deal, and I started yet another script, SNOWBLIND, a thriller.
Monday, September 05, 2005
THE NEW MARIE ANTOINETTE
Barbara Bush: Things Working Out 'Very Well' for Poor Evacuees from New Orleans By E&P Staff Published: September 05, 2005 7:25 PM ET updated 8:00 PM
NEW YORK-Former First Lady Barbara Bush said Monday that living in the Astrodome in Houston was working out well for many of the 15,000 hurricane victims there because they were underprivileged anyway.
Mrs. Bush made her remarks on the National Public Radio program "Marketplace" after visiting hurricane relief centers in Houston with a delegation that included her husband, former President George H.W. Bush, and former President Bill Clinton.
In a segment at the top of the show on the surge of evacuees to the Texas city, Barbara Bush said: "Almost everyone I’ve talked to says we're going to move to Houston."
Then she added: "What I’m hearing is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this -- this [she chuckles slightly] is working very well for them."
I'm surprised she didn't add "let them eat cake."
NEW YORK-Former First Lady Barbara Bush said Monday that living in the Astrodome in Houston was working out well for many of the 15,000 hurricane victims there because they were underprivileged anyway.
Mrs. Bush made her remarks on the National Public Radio program "Marketplace" after visiting hurricane relief centers in Houston with a delegation that included her husband, former President George H.W. Bush, and former President Bill Clinton.
In a segment at the top of the show on the surge of evacuees to the Texas city, Barbara Bush said: "Almost everyone I’ve talked to says we're going to move to Houston."
Then she added: "What I’m hearing is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this -- this [she chuckles slightly] is working very well for them."
I'm surprised she didn't add "let them eat cake."
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Christmas Update
Looks like that project is moving along, the director wants to meet with me next week. On a sour note, my insurance company won't approve my latest disability claim (grrr) and Oxygen passed on my AMAZON script. According to my agent, concept wise it was in their "zone" but the execution was not. Damn! Back to the drawing board with Oxy as the door was left wide open for future submits.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
THE TOWN THAT HATED CHRISTMAS
Well, it looks like I may have a deal. A local producer/director read my holiday script, loved it as is, and made me an offer---all within the space of three hours! He wants to shoot it quickly on HD and sell it to a cable network, we'll split the profits 50-50, so there exists the possibility of a nice chunk of change. Or it may just fizzle. We'll see. But it certainly was a boost to my ego to hear someone compliment my script for like FOREVER!!!!
But of course, in the midst of all my usual chaos and upheaval, I came up with a script idea, actually two, and I think one is quite actually good and plan on writing it. When an idea stays in the back of my mind for more than a day and I actually SEE the characters, I know it's a keeper.
But of course, in the midst of all my usual chaos and upheaval, I came up with a script idea, actually two, and I think one is quite actually good and plan on writing it. When an idea stays in the back of my mind for more than a day and I actually SEE the characters, I know it's a keeper.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
A Wing And A Prayer
We've gotten some initial reader (pals and such) reaction on INTO THE AMAZON, our kick ass rom com action adventure, and it's been embarrassingly overwhelmingly positive. A sampling of comments:
GREAT GENRE
LOVED IT
I WAS ONLY GOING TO READ THE FIRST THIRTY PAGES, BUT I ENDED UP READING IT IN ONE SITTING
WHEN IS IT COMING OUT?
A FUN READ, I COULD SEE IT AS A MOVIE
A POPCORN SUMMER FRANCHISE
Let's hope our industry reads are as positive!!!
GREAT GENRE
LOVED IT
I WAS ONLY GOING TO READ THE FIRST THIRTY PAGES, BUT I ENDED UP READING IT IN ONE SITTING
WHEN IS IT COMING OUT?
A FUN READ, I COULD SEE IT AS A MOVIE
A POPCORN SUMMER FRANCHISE
Let's hope our industry reads are as positive!!!
Thursday, August 25, 2005
No News....
Is no news.
Trying to keep calm, rest my tummy (ack), soak up the last rays of summer and think of anything else but the pink elephant in the room wearing a tutu.
To that end, I have started a horror (and not about my current poor financial status). Coming up with a new twist on horror is neigh near impossible, but I've come up with something that seems doable, so I'm gonna keep at it until I run out of steam or type THE END.
Also reading a new book called "The First Time I Got Paid For It" (which my mother said sounded porno). Nah. It's about writers and the first time they got paid for doing what they love. Nice fluff to read when your tummy is gurgling over what is happening (or not happening) with your new spec.
Trying to keep calm, rest my tummy (ack), soak up the last rays of summer and think of anything else but the pink elephant in the room wearing a tutu.
To that end, I have started a horror (and not about my current poor financial status). Coming up with a new twist on horror is neigh near impossible, but I've come up with something that seems doable, so I'm gonna keep at it until I run out of steam or type THE END.
Also reading a new book called "The First Time I Got Paid For It" (which my mother said sounded porno). Nah. It's about writers and the first time they got paid for doing what they love. Nice fluff to read when your tummy is gurgling over what is happening (or not happening) with your new spec.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Sending Out A Spec
It's done. Well, just about as done as it can be for the moment. I keep telling myself that a script is just a blueprint. A director will have notes. So will a producer and studio. And actors and actresses, they'll prolly stick their thumbs in the pie too. But that's the way screenwriting is, and if you can't accept that it's a collaborative process, stick to writing poems.
So far we 've gotten several reads from people we trust, and so far the comments have been all positive, overwhelmingly so.
What does that really mean, though?
Nothing.
You can write what you think is the best thing since WAR AND PEACE, and you could end up flat on your face, busted.
The marketplace is what decides.
A good script, no, make that a great script, may not sell for a variety of reasons. There's just no way to tell.
You keep second guessing yourself. Would one more little tweak make the difference between a sale or pass?
That's the place Brett, my co-writer, and I are at right now.
We're reasonably certain that we have no plot or logic holes. We've tried to bulletproof our spec as much as we can to the point I think I could recite all 118 pages of it.
After the flops of this summer, one would think Hollywood would be looking for fresh faces, new voices, new ideas.
Maybe not. I just heard that a remake of BARBERELLA is in the works.
It almost seems that TPTB would rather throw good money into bad remakes. Aside from Jessica Simpson's T&A, what did THE DUKES OF HAZZARD really offer? And it dropped 58% this week.
It's like holding your nose and jumping off a cliff.
No safety net.
No harness.
You're free falling, and have no idea when you'll land. With your head intact.
That's what sending out a spec is like. And we do it over and over and over again.
So far we 've gotten several reads from people we trust, and so far the comments have been all positive, overwhelmingly so.
What does that really mean, though?
Nothing.
You can write what you think is the best thing since WAR AND PEACE, and you could end up flat on your face, busted.
The marketplace is what decides.
A good script, no, make that a great script, may not sell for a variety of reasons. There's just no way to tell.
You keep second guessing yourself. Would one more little tweak make the difference between a sale or pass?
That's the place Brett, my co-writer, and I are at right now.
We're reasonably certain that we have no plot or logic holes. We've tried to bulletproof our spec as much as we can to the point I think I could recite all 118 pages of it.
After the flops of this summer, one would think Hollywood would be looking for fresh faces, new voices, new ideas.
Maybe not. I just heard that a remake of BARBERELLA is in the works.
It almost seems that TPTB would rather throw good money into bad remakes. Aside from Jessica Simpson's T&A, what did THE DUKES OF HAZZARD really offer? And it dropped 58% this week.
It's like holding your nose and jumping off a cliff.
No safety net.
No harness.
You're free falling, and have no idea when you'll land. With your head intact.
That's what sending out a spec is like. And we do it over and over and over again.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
New Spec, New Hopes
Sorry I've been so remiss in keeping my blog up, but July was busy between my tummy and life and August promises to be more of the same.
I wish I could say my tummy was on the mend, but I have to play it day by day. It seems to have become a routine. I may have a day or two of peace, but then something kicks it back into high gear.
So I'm still home, hoping that time, fiber and Paxil will give me long lasting relief. Paxil, for some odd reason, seems to help with IBS sufferers. My doctor says it has something to do with Serontin but it's Greek to me.
Meanwhile, life goes on even when we don't want it to.
Nina and I are waiting for her agent's reaction to MADAM MOM before we decide how to proceed, Matt and I are still tweaking FIELD TRIP and in a day or so Brett and I hope to have a meshed version of CHASING THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH (still working on the title, sigh).
And this weekend I started a suspense horror thriller, of all things. A tad out of my league, but I figure I'll run with it until I run out of gas. Horror is one of my favorite genres, so if I'm going to do anything in it, I want it to be special like THE EYE, not pedestrian like THE CRAWLING EYE (and to think that movie scared the shitzola out of my brother and I).
I'm really proud of CHASING. I've done several collaborations, and I can honestly say that this has been the best by far. Thus far, Brett has exceeded my expectations (while I probably underwhelmed him). His passion and creativity bowled me over, and I've not had a moment's regret since, even though we lost the dog in the final scene.
Collaboration is like sex. When it's with the right partner, it's heaven on earth, and when it's not.....you can fill in the blank.
I wish I could say my tummy was on the mend, but I have to play it day by day. It seems to have become a routine. I may have a day or two of peace, but then something kicks it back into high gear.
So I'm still home, hoping that time, fiber and Paxil will give me long lasting relief. Paxil, for some odd reason, seems to help with IBS sufferers. My doctor says it has something to do with Serontin but it's Greek to me.
Meanwhile, life goes on even when we don't want it to.
Nina and I are waiting for her agent's reaction to MADAM MOM before we decide how to proceed, Matt and I are still tweaking FIELD TRIP and in a day or so Brett and I hope to have a meshed version of CHASING THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH (still working on the title, sigh).
And this weekend I started a suspense horror thriller, of all things. A tad out of my league, but I figure I'll run with it until I run out of gas. Horror is one of my favorite genres, so if I'm going to do anything in it, I want it to be special like THE EYE, not pedestrian like THE CRAWLING EYE (and to think that movie scared the shitzola out of my brother and I).
I'm really proud of CHASING. I've done several collaborations, and I can honestly say that this has been the best by far. Thus far, Brett has exceeded my expectations (while I probably underwhelmed him). His passion and creativity bowled me over, and I've not had a moment's regret since, even though we lost the dog in the final scene.
Collaboration is like sex. When it's with the right partner, it's heaven on earth, and when it's not.....you can fill in the blank.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
New Beginnings
So according to my horrorscope, Saturn is leaving Capricorn, where it has been for the past two years, causing havoc and turmoil for us poor goats. In my case, it's been longer than two years, so I'm truly overdue for some good news.
Between my tummy and fighting a pretty awful cold/grippe/sinus, I've been working on a really cool new script with a terrific writer. It's going so well, almost TOO well, if you get my drift.
Don't want to talk about it too much, but if it's as good as I think it will be, we're talking tentpole, baby, we're talking franchise, hitting all the quadrants, all that good stuff.
Or it may end up as nice little movie on Oxygen.
Think big.
Dream big.
Between my tummy and fighting a pretty awful cold/grippe/sinus, I've been working on a really cool new script with a terrific writer. It's going so well, almost TOO well, if you get my drift.
Don't want to talk about it too much, but if it's as good as I think it will be, we're talking tentpole, baby, we're talking franchise, hitting all the quadrants, all that good stuff.
Or it may end up as nice little movie on Oxygen.
Think big.
Dream big.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
The Dog Days of August
And it's the end of June. Hot, humid, stormy weather. Blech.
Still waiting on responses to requests, which seems to be the story of my life. Working on various projects to keep myself from going crazy.
I'm still adjusting to my meds, but there has been some improvement.
I have become a reality show addict. If it's Tuesday, it must be BLOW OUT.
Still waiting on responses to requests, which seems to be the story of my life. Working on various projects to keep myself from going crazy.
I'm still adjusting to my meds, but there has been some improvement.
I have become a reality show addict. If it's Tuesday, it must be BLOW OUT.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
No News Is Good News
As I try to adjust to the latest round of meds, on the screenwriting front, no news is good news I guess. Got various projects in various stages. Doing a rewrite of MADAM MOM based on the notes I received from some good pals. Sent a pitch off to a contact at Oxygen.
It's only June and it feels like the dog days of August. Very unseasonable heat wave. Beh.
It's only June and it feels like the dog days of August. Very unseasonable heat wave. Beh.
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