Boy, have we got off to a banging New Year!
Eddie Murphy got "spiritually married", now after two weeks, stick a fork in it. that's one way to save on lawyer fees.
Jamie Lynn is knocked up at sixteen and depending on which rag you read, she's on the verge of a miscarriage, on the way to the hospital, is unsure as to who the Baby Daddy is, or is being dumped by the Baby Daddy who already supposedly got another girl pregnant...and with a war going on, the economy in the tank, this inspires a national debate on birth control...NOT!
Big sis sis Brit Brit (ie Unfitney) outdoes lil sis sis by throwing a temper tantrum, getting locked up in the mental ward, only to wind up in Mexico with her married photographer BF and then refuse to appear at the courthouse to fight for custody of her babies yet has all the time in the world to stop in at gas stations, retail stores and pharmacies for photo opps in ragged fishnet stockings and no underwear.
Meanwhile, Lindsey traipses off to Italy to receive a dubious "career
achievement award" but the only achievement she apppears to have done while abroad was to fall off the wagon and hop, skimp and jump from one bed to another (with all the salacious details peddled by these nefarious Lotharios) to the tabloids for a lucrative lira.
Paris, after assuring the world she was going to live on a higher plane since her stint in the hokey, makes endless appearances in clubs where she told one lucky audience that she'd like to "fuck" them all. Makes you long for the days when celebs would do their jail time quietly and without fanfare--like Kiefer Sutherland is doing right now.
And Long Island natives Joey B and Amy F release competing sex tapes but swear they're not making any money off them. The only thing better would be a sex tape of Joey B and Amy F doing the nasty. Since when did getting yourself caught in the act suddenly become so profitable and respectable? I want my own sex tape!
And it's only January???