Friday, September 30, 2005

The Hollywood Trap

My fucking God.

Can somebody please tell me what happned to Lindsay Lohan? I just saw a recent photo of her, and she's unrecognizable from the cute, fresh faced kid she was in THE PARENT TRAP. She looks like a cross of Tara Reid and Paris Hilton, and that's no compliment. Next to Lindsay, Mary Kate has more meat on her bones.

Lindsay is a hometown Long Island girl, so I know all about her family travails, thanks to Newsday (otherswise known in my house as Loseday). And I've heard about Lindsay's antics on and off the set from Defamer and other sites.

I've no doubt that Lindsay, being the sole breadwinner of her family, must be under tremendous pressure. But is anyone in control or even trying to put the brakes on? Let's face it, she hasn't been getting the best career advice. The HERBIE remake didn't do all that well, and her records aren't flying out of the stores either.

Chill out, Lindsay. Splurge on a banana split or two. Take six months off, stay away from the high life, and just be a teenager again.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

It's Been A Good Week

Don't you know? I'm in an incredible period of good luck according to my psychic pal Jean (I'm such a good pal she doesn't even know my first name). Yet she informs me that I have 165 days to capitalize on this window of opportunity and that we must join forces to thwart "negative waves". However, to do this, I must buy her book for $9.95....

INTO THE AMAZON is at Kopelson and New Line.

Another producer has strong interest in my horror comedy THE AMULET.

My agent wants to slip RANDOM ACTS to a friend he has at Charlize's prodco. He loved the script, called it a throwback to "Howard Hawks and Frank Capra" (he meant that in a good way).

The director on CHRISTMAS sent me a whiny e-mail today suggesting that we need to make "changes" based on the "popular vote", apparently he's shown the script to some who love it as is, others who want to make it darker, and still others who want to tack on a "fairy tale ending."

I put the kibosh on that nonsense straight away, reminding him that the only reason I gave him the option was because he insisted he loved it just the way it was. I told him I had no problem making minor changes to tighten the story or enhancing it (and had already done so at his suggestion), but that I was done. Finito. Hasta la vista, baybee.

You know what he did?

He thanked me for putting the brakes on. He said he was a people pleaser, and in trying to please all these people, he had forgotten what drew him to my script in the first place.

Maybe we should all say NO more often.

Monday, September 26, 2005

What Does Your Father Do?

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up--fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.

David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and have sex with him for money, " David replied with a straight face.

The teacher, shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work in their workbooks, and took Little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said David, "he works for the Bush administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

Thursday, September 22, 2005

New News

The producer/director of the Christmas movie called me all excited today. It seems that the prodco he's going to pony up with for it has a contact with Chevy Chase and is going to get the script to him. Chevy would make a great Norbert!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Late Nate

I''m barely functioning this morning. I was up until 5AM this morning, a new idea roiling in my head. Can't speak of it's just too new, I guess. And untried.

INTO THE AMAZON is at Kopelson Entertainment. Still no word from our Canadian agent on his submit. Damn. Hurricane Rita is getting more action then me. No further updates from the CHRISTMAS producer either.

Friday, September 16, 2005

The Ghost and the Darkness

I'm on a reading binge (which is better than a Cookies n' Cream ice cream binge. Edy's Grand Churned Light. Heaven on Earth).

I just finished reading the softcover copy of Goldman's script.

I'm amazed. Goldman throws all them dern rules under the bus.

There's not one INT. or EXT. in the script.

He uses parantheticals like Twinkerbell sprinkles fairy dust.

There are pages of action with no dialogue.

There are pages of CUT TO's.

There are lines that are totally unfilmmable. "These three will be friends forever."

He bolds. Italicizes. Underlines (don't know how to do that here). CAPITALIZES.


It's magnificent.

And it took Goldman more than a dozen years and twists of fate and reversals of fortune and just being in the right place at the right time to get this to the screen. Even if it hadn't been a true story, Goldman makes me believe.

To think, it coulda been Kevin Costner and not Val Kilmer.

Rebuilding Bush's Image

Make no mistake.

Bush's speech of last night was not about repairing New Orleans. It's all about repairing Bush's image/legacy.

Why else to explain the appointment of Bush's Brain, Karl Rove, to head the rebuilding in New Orleans.

Rove is a political operative. He knows about as much as rebuilding a city as Bush does. Which is nothing.

Will the MSM point this out? Is there a Republican in the house who dares challenge the Emperor With No Clothes? Is the public going to fall for Bush's "Shell Game" one again?

Change New Orleans for Iraq and it's the same old game all over again.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

"A Depth Charged Week"

Well, depending on which horrorscope I read, I'm going to have a great week career wise or I'm going to break the past, or I still have some heavy waters to wade through. A burden will be lifted. I will have a great responsibility. The Universe is ready to intercede on my behalf. My friends are about to desert me. The planets are aligning in my favor. I shouldn't do anything until the Mercury Retrograde, or is that I should do everything under the Mercury Retrograde.

What's a poor Capricorn supposed to do?


This land is Bushland
This land is Bushland
From Texas highways
To New Orleans swampland
This land is Bushland
This land is Bushland
And it wasn't made for you and me

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Much Ado

I posted the comments made by former First Lady Barbara Bush at a screenwriting site I belong to (The Writer's Building) and was shocked and dismayed at the reaction it received. Apparently some members complained to the webmaster that it was a political attack meant to create chaos and controversy, rather than mature, reasoned discussion.

So it was summarily removed without any input from me.

Which infuriated me, as the reason initially given for removing the post was because it wasn't "screenwriting related."

When I pointed out that the site contained other posts which were not screenwriting related per se, I was flatly told that it was the webmaster's discretion to remove what he considered to be "inflammatory" posts.

Naturally, this smacked to me of censorship. And I said so. Of course, the point I wanted to make about Barbara Bush and the country club mind set that is running our country got lost in the turbo charged rhetoric.

We impeached a President for getting a blow job from an intern and the right wing masturbated over that for months on end.

Now we have a catastrophe of historical proportions, the President was asleep at the wheel, Cheney was off closing on a two million dollar house, while Condi was buying expensive shoes in NYC when not attending Broadway musicals and watching the US Open from a front row seat.

Where are our priorities, folks? Not to mention our leaders? Half the country voted for Bush because he promised to keep us safe, unlike the other guy.

Four years and hundreds of billions of dollars spent on homeland security, and this is what we have to show for it: a toxic stew and hundreds of dead bodies floating.

Our President was too busy strumming a guitar.

That, and the disaster in Iraq, is Bush's legacy.

Mission accomplished, all right.

On a happier note, I have a new column up at Done Deal, and I started yet another script, SNOWBLIND, a thriller.

Monday, September 05, 2005


Barbara Bush: Things Working Out 'Very Well' for Poor Evacuees from New Orleans By E&P Staff Published: September 05, 2005 7:25 PM ET updated 8:00 PM

NEW YORK-Former First Lady Barbara Bush said Monday that living in the Astrodome in Houston was working out well for many of the 15,000 hurricane victims there because they were underprivileged anyway.

Mrs. Bush made her remarks on the National Public Radio program "Marketplace" after visiting hurricane relief centers in Houston with a delegation that included her husband, former President George H.W. Bush, and former President Bill Clinton.

In a segment at the top of the show on the surge of evacuees to the Texas city, Barbara Bush said: "Almost everyone I’ve talked to says we're going to move to Houston."

Then she added: "What I’m hearing is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this -- this [she chuckles slightly] is working very well for them."

I'm surprised she didn't add "let them eat cake."

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Christmas Update

Looks like that project is moving along, the director wants to meet with me next week. On a sour note, my insurance company won't approve my latest disability claim (grrr) and Oxygen passed on my AMAZON script. According to my agent, concept wise it was in their "zone" but the execution was not. Damn! Back to the drawing board with Oxy as the door was left wide open for future submits.