Thank You, Oprah

I am gratified that in response to my earlier post, the Grand Goddess of Syndication, Oprah, followed my lead and gave James Frey a good old fashioned ass-whoopin'. It was the modern day equivalent of the stocks, and by the end, poor Frey loked as if he was ready for another root canal.

Only goes to show...politicians can lie, but don't you dare lie to Oprah!

Techno Impaired

I made some neat designs at Spreadshirt.com, but have no idea how I can post the link onto this website. Help!

Post Christmas News

I picked up the cashier's check today, so unless I'm hired for any more rewriting/polishes, I'm done with THE TOWN THAT BANNED CHRISTMAS. I wish the new producers/investors good luck. I wish I could say that the experience was a pleasant one. It started out on such a positive note, but hey, that's life. No sense getting an ulcer over it. Onto the next project and the next sale.

This week I finished the first draft of a new script, I began two new ones, and a manager I hooked up with shortly before the holidays is planning on submitting my ORACLE OF ORCHARD STREET (think MBFGW meets MOONSTRUCK) to her contacts very soon.

So, at least for today, this second, I'm happy. I bought myself new mascara (buy one, get one free!) and for dessert, I'll probably have my Cookies n' Cream splurge in celebration.

Ah, life is good.

No, I Won't Be Watching American Idol This Year

That's right.

I used to be a huge fan of AMERICAN IDOL. The first year, the right person won: Kelly Clarkson. The fact that she's now a superstar in spite of that dreadful FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY fiasco is testimony to her tremendous talent. Also, keep in mind, that Kelly's only had this success since she burned her bridges with the show.

The second year, Clay got robbed, like Al Gore. Reuben is a great talent, but based
on his last few performances on the show, he was clearly running out of gas. And the way Simon and the crew pimped Reuben unmercilessly, you knew he had to win.

The third year it was a foregone conclusion that Fantasia was going to win. No suspense whatsoever. But I still clung to the belief that this was a talent
show. Silly me.

Last year disabused me of that belief forever. The Paula scandal notwithstanding, the show had turned into a reality entertainment show. Talent was secondary
to the producers reality. I told my family that if Bo Bice lost and Paula remained as a host, I'd never watch the show again.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

My Memoirs

I once did blow with Peter Tork, I'm the illegitimate child of Marlon Brando, and I was once led police on a high speed chase through four states.

Well, er, not quite.

But who the fuck cares? I'm a reformed ice cream addict, this is the essential truth of my life as I saw it through the haze of Cookies n' Cream. So what if I embellished it? It's just a memoir, a memory of my life, subject to my interpretation of it.

I can stretch the truth too and be on Oprah. Hell, I don't need to make up anything. What I've been through since 2001 would be enough to fill two books. But for someone like, oh, an unknown author who initially tried to peddle his "memoir" as "fiction" but could only sell it as "non-fiction" once he ramped up some little nigging details, it's okay! Jason Blair be damned!

So what if the police record isn't true and a lot of other details that made Oprah and millions of other readers go ga-ga. And what the hell is she going to say now that cat is out of the bag? Well, the "essence" of the book is true!

Well, ya know, I could write a memoir about how in a drug induced haze, I burned and ate a kitten. Okay, I never ate a kitten. Okay, I was never in a drug induced haze.

BUT I COULD HAVE AND IF I HAD, THIS WOULD BE THE ESSENCE OF IT.

What's the matter with these so-called writers? Did they graduate from the McDonald School of Journalism?

Happy New Year

I've been a little under the weather, so please forgive me for my lack of posting.

Good news: I've lost weight. Hooray!

Bad news: I miss my potato chips.

Good news: My romantic comedy should be going to a very big studio shortly. Keep your fingers crossed.

Bad news: What's with all the fucking HOUSE reruns?

Good news: I'm almost done with the first draft of a new spec.

Bad news: Rewrite Hell.

Good news: Supermarket restocked my favorite cookies.

Bad news: No snow.

Good news: I got NATIONAL TREASURE. Yay!

Bad news: Mother hates the remake of WAR OF THE WORLDS, which I also got.

Let's hope for a healthy and prosperous 2006.